I prayed and prayed, and often heard what I wanted - but I didn't really listen. Because God is a God of love and people. And when I returned to work part-time in 2017 (just prior to Melanoma) I was acting out of love... but not for all of His people. Truthfully, I was escaping our Wild - who does life with a severe anxiety disorder and struggles with sensory processing and who can rage in the blink of an eye... and I was tired.
I'm a believer to my core. I say that I found Jesus before I knew he existed; a calming presence in the middle of storms that came upon me long before my path today. Yet, I too have struggled with doubts. My biggest came when I saw my business go up in smoke as chronic disease met special parenting. I didn't quit on my business or my God. But let's just say that fear took the reigns. I feared that I would never see my business prosper again. And I feared that my God's plans for me weren't all that good. That maybe my suffering was attached to His greater plan. That maybe staying faithful without my health or my child's sanity was more than just a test - but my life's work.
A flashback to our Bliss at three. Oh, how I thought I would know how to handle this age after our sweet Mild turned wild for a year. But nothing can prepare you for life with a child who has challenges with her mental and behavioral health. Cheers to the differently wired, sweet girl. You've been inspiring me since birth!